Hello all, in my latest blog I talked about all the “what if’s” I had been battling with. My “what if’s” consisted of doubts and fears concerning my chronic illness and all the layers that are entangled into that large piece of my life. As I’ve been on a journey of releasing and surrendering my “what if’s” a new struggle arose. I am embarking on a journey to release my both my “what ifs” and “why’s”. Both the “what’s it’s” and “why’s” fall under my continuous fight with trusting God fully. I’m battling with trusting that his plans for my life are better than my deepest desires. I’m battling with trusting that he is good, and that he is a God of integrity and that his promises are true. I’m struggling with trusting that he is a good God. He has always been faithful to me, but my chronic illness has driven me to painful places, and in those painful unknowns questions and doubts burned deep within my soul in agony screaming “why!”
Why O God will you not heal me? Why O God can I not see any silver lining or purpose on this path that you have called me to walk. Why O God does your voice feel so distant yet my doubts can be heard from a mile away? I have to stop myself in that painful chaos, and grasp onto his truth. I recognize that though it’s hard to see God in the midst of continuous suffering, in the midst of sorrows and doubt. He is near to the brokenhearted. I have to remember he is still a God of the sick. I have to remember that He is still the same God in the dark as He is in the light. It’s difficult to see his handiwork in your life and to comprehend all that is taking place when it seems as though the light has been stolen. I know It can be so difficult to surrender the “why’s?” & replace it with “I trust you”. But He is a good God, a God of integrity. His promises to me and you are true. His love for me and you is enduring, and his plans for me and you are intently designed for our good. I must continue to deny the “why’s” and learn to lay it all down. It’s a continuous surrender, a lifelong journey. He holds every tear in the palms of his nail scarred hands, he strengthens my weak body and renews my soul steadfastly. Amidst my never ending doubts, questions, and fears...his faithfulness to me is never ending, and he relentlessly continues to meet me in the most unexpected ways. Each day I have to consciously choose to remember his character and his promises, I have to seek to hold on tightly to his truth as I walk through the fire. Each day I have to go back to scripture and read his word and slowly allow him to grave it upon my heart. I’m reminded of the verse… Psalm 13:5 “But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.” I’m also reminded of Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all of creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Both of those verses speak volumes of God faithfulness and reminds us that nothing nor anyone can rip us away from the love and faithfulness of God. My friends, if you also have painful “why’s?” that are plaguing you life, I hope you will embark on this journey with me. Those “why’s” are painful, they are rooted from a situation in your life that you are battling with understanding. Trust me I know your pain, I understand your doubt. BUT... I also know our God, I know that in the midst of emotion we can easily get caught and swept up in that storm. But our feet must land back on the ground, and we have to surrender those “why’s” and walk into that unknown with faith rooted in Christ alone. God is aware of your unknown, he will walk alongside you and guide you through. My blog will always carry a theme of grace. Life is painful, and our fragile hearts easily get tangled into those “why’s” but give yourself grace. Walk into that unknown with grace upon your shoulders knowing that God is with you until the end of the ages and he can carry your doubt, he welcomes it. He wants you to deal with that doubt, lay it down and walk forward in trust. Below I will list a few more verses that you can possibly write down on a notecard to help you as you also walk into that unknown. Seek to know God and all his fullness, when we are aware of whom we are walking with...fear has no room to speak. Thank you for taking time to read this blog in its very long entirety haha, God bless each and every one of you. I pray that 2019 would be a year of trusting God fully. It is a lifelong journey… Thank you Jesus, for when I am continually faithless you are faithful. God bless you all, Mikayla Kent P.S don’t forget the verses below (: Also check out the song “Prince of Peace” by Hillsong on the album “Empires” here is the link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIqUTMHl9Cs&list=PLTIAmp7RSIV-tTo7Kg1zco6OJLrj8sMQi Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight”. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”. Isaiah 40:28-31 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles and they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
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Even when those “what if’s” become a reality Hello all, I’m back to share with you what the Lord has been teaching me amidst my stubbornness. As you all know I have mixed connective tissue disease, that has altered my life in many forms. Towards the end of the summer my body was doing quite well. I had more energy and felt along the lines of “normal”. I was thrilled, I was getting out more and doing things I hadn’t done in awhile. I was preparing for the upcoming school year and was eager to take it on. And in a blink of an eye, the sickness came back upon me like a crushing wave. The fatigue and the joint pain came like a thief in the night, robbing me of my joy. Emphasis on joy - but we will get back to that in a minute. As I embarked on the school year, I’ve had to learn how to juggle sickness and school. Thankfully, I have been blessed with a flexible school and very understanding teachers that have helped me through this adjustment. In the midst of this new beginning, I’ve been so confused and hurt as to why God wouldn’t give me the body I need to accomplish what he has called me to- which is being a student. I have been angry because I’ve felt like he has failed to meet my expectations. I’ve prayed for healing, I’ve gotten down on my knees and begged for a miracle. I just can’t comprehend why he had allowed this to pass through his fingers; why won’t my God heal me? In my confused anger, I chose to shove my spiritual life to the sidelines and place everything else above God. I’ve made no time to read the Bible or pray. I’ve felt like he has let me down and left me all alone to wander in this forsaken darkness. Then God stopped me in my tracks, and I found the book that I read earlier this year when I first got diagnosed. It’s called “The Scars That Have Shaped Me” by Vaneetha Rendall Risner. I read the chapter titled “What if the Worst Happens” and in this chapter Vaneetha talks about even when the nightmare happens, and those terrible “what if’s” come true, is God enough for you? and that hit me hard. I asked myself “Mikayla is God enough for you if your body never works like it should. If that healing never comes in your time on this earth - is HE enough.” And right then I painfully admitted that he wasn’t enough. I want to live an abundant life, not an abundantly painful one. In this chapter she then shared this passage... Habakkuk 3:17-18 “Even if the fig tree does not bloom, and the vines have no grapes. Even if the olive tree fails to produce and the fields yield no good, even if the sheep pen is empty and the stalls have no cattle- even then, I will be happy with the Lord. I will truly find joy in God who saves me.” I sat there, with a paper and a pen and prayed, earnestly prayed that God would help me surrender my expectations of him. I asked that he would help me surrender my deepest desire to be healed, I asked that he would help me to trust in him fully, to no longer trust in my body, nor what my body can accomplish, nor my circumstances. I asked him to help me say with confidence “even when”. Day by day, I choose to surrender those expectations and dreams, I will start to say with confidence, my joy is not found in my body. I will also start to say that my joy that is not found in my circumstances, nor in what God can accomplish for me, but rather rooted in the character of God.” On that night, I asked him to meet me in that painful place, as tears began to paint the page in shades of scared hope. Along the page, my hand penciled in desperate words and I asked that he would give me strength to walk through this school year, I asked for peace within this unknown. I want to encourage you all to ask yourself- “is God enough for me even when my “what if’s” become a reality. Is my joy found solely in him? If it isn’t, don’t be so hard on yourself, there is grace in Jesus, there is freedom at the cross. It is painful to come to that realization and to recognize that your trust was found in what he could accomplish for you. Now that you recognize that, ask him for help to trust him fully, ask for help to say with confidence “Even then, I will be happy with the Lord. I will truly find joy in God, who saves me.” ( Habakkuk 3:17-18) We live in a chaotic world my friends, we all have our pains and our “what if’s” join me in surrendering those, and embarking on a journey of trusting God soley. I’m not there yet, I’m learning, doubting, questioning, praying and hurting. In time I will get there, and you will get there; with God leading us both every step of the way. I also want to encourage that surrendering those “what if’s” doesn't happen overnight, I am continually surrendering and praying Habakkuk 3:17-18 over my life, asking God to meet me in that struggle. He is aware that you're struggling, he will meet you with peace and his abundant grace. Lastly, I want to encourage you to read “The Scars That Have Shaped Me” by Vaneetha Rendall Risner. It is a beautiful book, about her testimony overcoming many battles and how she has grown closer to Christ because of them. God bless you all, Mikayla Kent. This week I’ve been doing a lot of re-learning, while experiencing the frailty and incompetence of my own human strength. I’m re-learning that I must daily align myself with God and his truth and ask daily for his strength to empower me.
This week has been anything but bliss, from the beginning of the week - my auto immune disease started flaring up causing me to be achey and exhausted, to an emergency room visit, to mental exhaustion I’ve seen how my own “strength” comes nowhere close to God provided strength. I’ve realized how push my mind and body farther, than the actual amount of gas I have in the tank. My selfish pride tells me to just keep going, you got this on your own. And so each day I’m find myself running on empty, unable to give to myself or to others. I get caught up in the day to day chaos, I get caught up with deadlines and grades. And I grab the easiest aid to each of those problems, which I find; fail me each time. This is how my week went - I start off the week with my body feeling sick and simply put - meh. I’m running on half a tank, throw in some school work deadlines chaos, than a mid week and emergency room visit. And each slice of chaos thrown my way, I’m depending on myself to get me through. Instead of aligning myself with God, His word all while seeking His strength. Later in the week, I finally sit down and have some much needed bible time and God speaks and say this to me- “Mikayla stop it, stop trying to have it altogether. I am already enough for you. I am your strength, let me renew you” And there I realized how easy it is to be distracted by each day to day trouble. And how we run to the easiest aid for our chaos, instead of settling down, tuning out the world and all the loud voices, and seeking his peace filled tender voice. And asking him for the renewal of strength and perseverance. Life can be messy, unpredictable, and unsteady. But God is steady, He is a rock and a solid foundation, He is faithful and He is true in the midst of all the unknown, in the midst of all the chaos his steady peaceful voice reigns even in the darkest of nights. I urge you to settle down, pray fervently, worship passionately, read his word with an endless hunger and allow him to enfold you into his presence while he renews you. Just say admit this with me right now “God, I admit I don’t have it altogether. God I need you!” - when we are incapable, He is far more capable than we could even imagine. So friends, rest in this. You do not need to have it altogether, let that pressure fall off your shoulders and allow grace to step in. What a praise that we don’t have to run on our own frail human strength, but that we have a God who provides a strength far better than all we could ask for or imagine. He has it altogether. He’s magnificently perfect, and he will meet you with his strength and perseverance. Just humble yourselves, because where you lack greatly, He is made perfect. I pray that this blog is a blessing to all who read it today. I pray that a weight would be lifted off your shoulders and that you will go spend some much needed time with God. God bless you all, Mikayla Kent- P.S read Psalm 91 below ⬇️ Psalm 91 1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, 10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” This blog post is a little different than my past blogs, it’s pretty short, simple and to the point. But my prayer is that it would encourage all who read. The beginning steps leading to my satisfaction in Christ, was when I first fully experienced the frailty and incompetence of human love. Not that there was a particular time in my life that this happened. I think it was just a slow realization as pain and disappointment burned within. People are imperfect, we hurt each other. We don’t measure up to expectations, and set high expectations and people let us down, and we let others down. Human love is so fragile and incomplete.
But His love!! the love of God is abundantly more than all we could ask for. As of last night, I was just feeling a deep emptiness. And as I was praying these words came to mind.... “Breathe, just breathe. Breathe, through the tears, through the frustration and exhale it all. Give it to God, let him wrap you in his love. Let the love that never fails, the love that heals all wounds; the love that laid upon a cross with nails embedded into the palms of his hands and a crown of thorns bestowed upon his head. Let that love bind thy wandering heart to thee. Come child, your day may have been filled with utter restlessness and many pains but he is our refuge and strength, just breathe for the battle is the Lords. He is faithful, He is true, He is love. And He will fight for you. Breathe, just breathe – Mikayla K I am loved, I am seen, I am held. This love that heals, and seeks out to bring home the one lost sheep. This love that laid upon a cross, with nails embedded into his hands and a crown of thorns bestowed upon his head. That love is for me? even though I did nothing to deserve it? The only thing I have done is sin, sin and sin again. But he loves me, and loves me again and loves me again in the very midst of my sinning. There is no love that can come close to comparison. And why would he do that?! Because he is love! he is all together perfect. He is full of immeasurable mercy and grace to his sinful children that he rains upon us each morning. And the price has been paid. Jesus laid upon a cross and bled for me. Not because I deserved it, or preformed some wonderful act to receive this reward. But because God is love and God is merciful. So, breathe today, you’re loved; loved with abundant love. He is faithful, He is true, He is love and He will fight for you. So, whatever situation, or pain that comes to mind as you read these words. Breathe, just breathe. Lift, it up to the heavens, and let him fight for you. Psalm 91 verses 14-16 says this ““Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life, I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” I want to ask you to go listen to this beautiful song by Shane&Shane. I cry every time I hear it. This song is so humbling and beautiful. I will add the link right here - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6C3QayenfII Lastly, please be praying for all of the people who reside in the path of hurricane Florence. Many of my friends and family are in that path. Pray for protection and peace. God bless you all, may his love meet you right where you are in this very moment. I pray this is an encouragement to all who read it. -Mikayla Kent This is very hard for me to share. I’ve battled for a while with putting this blog post together…and then deleting it. It’s been a vicious cycle. But I know I must surrender this to the Lord. For the victory is His. My story is no longer my own. And I know the Lord will use it for His glory as He sees fit.
I think you and I both can agree at one time or another we have placed our identity, worth, and value in something imperfect and unreliable. We have laid these things down upon an unsteady foundation. And that’s a dangerous thing. I have carried insecurity, comparison and jealously around with me like an accessory. They have followed me for years, leaving their print on my relationships. And frankly it has been ugly. From a very young age competition stirred in my heart. I have two sisters, one who is younger than me, and one who is older than me. With my oldest sister, we shared many things from hobbies to friends to music to favorite movies. For my part, I felt this need to be better…that I had to be better to be worthy. In our friendships, for example, if a friend was to compliment her or invite her to do something, I then assumed that meant I was unimportant and grew bitter. And that was my thought process for many years. Then came the bullying and things got worse. Already having a wrecked identity, the words of my bullies took an even heavier toll on my heart. They would say nasty cruel things to me such as “you’re ugly & worthless, to “your better off dead”. I believed those lies and carried them around with me for years. And that was a bad beating to my already wrecked self-image. So, let’s review, at this point I still don’t know where my identity is truly found, I’m filled with lies, jealously and comparison. These things are boiling inside of me, and naturally it took a toll in my friendships. A lot of my friendships were very unhealthy. I relied on my friends to give me worth and make me feel loved and wanted. If they didn’t appreciate something I did I once again considered myself "nothing.” If they didn’t seem to show any sympathy for my problems than I was unimportant to them and therefore worthless. If they didn’t lift me up with encouraging words than I was left feeling empty and low. This was a never-ending pattern, I would sometimes see a need for a change but didn’t know where to turn. And frankly I was so used to this way of living and thinking, it was comfortable for me. It was not until this summer, that I was truly awakened the destruction that my ship-wrecked identity had caused. As some of you know I had the incredible opportunity of joining my Aunt Stephanne as she lead her church to the country of Ecuador. On this trip, I learned many things and took away many lessons I continue to incorporate into my day to day life. But the biggest blessing I walked away with was the taste of freedom. One day on the trip my precious Aunt Stephanne pulled me away to have a conversation. A few weeks earlier God laid on her heart to discuss this with me but she was waiting for the perfect opportunity, such as the opportunity where I was in another country and couldn’t run away from her and what she had to say. I laughed so hard when she told me that. She gracefully shared truth and encouragement with me by reminding me of who I am as a daughter of Jesus. And it was eye opening. It was such an incredible moment shared with someone so special to me. For the first time, my heart was broken and sickened by the pattern I was living in. I was completely awakened to my sin. I was aware of how I was disrespecting myself and my God. And from that day on, I have pursued his truth, I have sought to find out who I am in Christ. And it gives me chills to think of the freedom that has been active my life since that day. Since I’ve started seeking his truth, I’ve started to find where my true identity is found. And there I found my sweet Jesus, and I’ve seen new pieces of him. I’ve seen new layers of His character, and how He loves me. I’ve seen the kind of savior He is. And I’m truly in awe. The relationships with my friends and family are so much healthier because I’m starting to learn how to depend on God to fill my cup, to meet my desires, and to give me worth. I’m able to recognize Gods fingerprints on who I am. I’m seeing the details and the handiwork of who He has created me to be and all the little pieces that make me Mikayla Ann Kent. I’m also able to recognize His fingerprints on others’ lives and I’m finally able to rejoice with them in their successes and talents. I’m able to encourage them to see themselves through the eyes of their creator. And if that doesn’t just speak of how powerful our God is I don’t know what will! I urge you to evaluate your life, where is your identity found? Moms and dads this isn’t just for teenagers. you may have an Identity crisis you need to check. And that’s okay! even though you’re older and more experienced in life, you don’t have to be ashamed. It is so easy to place our worth and identity into day to day things. Maybe you still don’t know where your worth and identity is truly found! I encourage you to be willing to humble yourself and seek His truth. It’s human nature to desire to be seen, wanted and loved. But my friends we are already seen, wanted and loved. Stop looking high or low, to left or to the right. Look into the captivating eyes of Jesus. Seek His truth, find out who He says you are! Oh the precious freedom that comes from seeking Him and His truth. I can honestly say I’m so joyful knowing who I am. It’s still a process, it is painful coming face to face with something that you hid and carried with you for so long. But we have to realize as followers of Christ it is vital to know where our identity and worth is found! we also have to realize we already have the freedom and victory, we have to choose daily to live that out. We have to choose daily to seek His truth How do I find my identity in him? well first I’d encourage you to confess to him the destructive pattern you have been living in. Ask him to reveal his truth to you. Just pray and ask for healing from past wounds, though the afflictions of others may have cut deep; his love runs deeper. Secondly I’d encourage you to get out a an empty notebook, and devote those pages to copy down verses specially focused on our identity, worth, value in Jesus. Lastly, talk to someone you trust and tell them about this struggle you have been battling with. I’m almost positive that they have struggled with it too! pray for one another and keep each other accountable to deny the lies Satan whispers in our ears. What I will always incorporate into my blogs is the essence of grace!! Let us not be ashamed, but rejoice knowing that our God has paid the ultimate price for our sins, and because of that priceless sacrifice we can claim victory and freedom! And we can then know our identity and value. Below are some verses filled with truth and encouragement. I urge you to get out a notebook and write these down and memorize them! where those lies once reigned let his truth take place! Psalm 139:1-17 “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” 1st peter 2:9 “But you’re a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, Gods special possession. That you may declare the praises or him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light”. Matthew 10:29-31 “are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your father. But the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Therefore, do not fear for you are more valuable than many sparrows” I pray that this blog encourages others to take a step back, evaluate their lives and ask themselves “where is my worth & identity found?” All glory to God, for this victory is His. Thank you, Jesus, you have set me free!! God bless you all, Mikayla Ann Kent. Before you read any further I would encourage you to go listen to the song I have attached. It sets the foundation for what God has led me to talk about today. https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/pursue-all-i-need-is-you-feat-hillsong-young-free-medley-live/1050070588?i=1050070935 Today I want to talk about the seasons we walk through as followers of Christ. And as you and me both know, not all of them are joyous. There is the harvest season, where you just feel in tune with the Lord and his voice. You are eager to learn, eager to serve and eager to love others. You have this new-found excitement for church and people, a desire to serve in the band or in children’s ministry. The word of God has this sweet flavor that just speaks directly to your heart. And this is a fruitful, beautiful season. But then there is also the season of drought. Where there was once his glory richly embedded into your soul there is now a void, an emptiness, questions and doubt. His voice that was once so clear and familiar, is now a soft distant whisper. That desire you had to serve, and worship, and fellowship with others has now turned into a dreaded task. His word once tasted sweet and spoke directly to your heart, now tastes stale and frankly boring. And this season is hard, confusing and painful. But I want to ask you to 1. embrace both seasons, and 2. lend yourself grace in both seasons. My friend, you do not need to have to have it altogether, he knows you don’t. He just wants you to be present and come as you are. I know many will agree that it’s easier to seek God, to serve and love others in the harvest season. And it’s difficult to simply do anything he asks of us in the season of drought. I think that’s where faith is put into action. Faith isn’t about a feeling. Just like loving others isn’t dependent on when you feel like it. It’s a choice, we can choose to love that mean neighbor down the street, even when we feel like they don’t deserve it. And why can we do that? Because God loved us first. You and I both know we don’t deserve for God to love us the way he does, or forgive us the way he has forgiven us. But we love because he loved us first. What does this have to do with anything? The point I’m trying to get across is that the same way we have to choose to love others when we don’t feel like it. Is just how we need to choose to seek God even when his presence feels distant. That is faith in action In the drought season, I think God is asking us to wrestle with him. Bring to him your grief, your questions, your doubts and pains. And simply wrestle, cry, and scream. He can handle it. He doesn’t want us to be apathetic followers. {Apathetic meaning, ap·a·thet·ic adjective 1. showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern} He wants us to be eager and alive in both the harvest season and the drought. He wants us to truly desire his word even when it tastes stale. He wants to surrender our feelings from the moment we wake up in the morning to when we go to bed. He wants us to choose to say -Lord even though I don’t feel your presence, I know my relationship with you is about more than a feeling. Psalm 145:18 says “The Lord is near all who call out to him.” Lord you are near! so I will wrestle with you today, I will read your word, until the sweetness returns. I will love others even though I don’t feel like it. I will serve at my church, even though I would rather be doing anything else. I will worship you with hands held high and heart abandon, even though the place where your presence was once alive and beating is now filled with emptiness and void. And how will I do this? John 14:13-14 says ask and you shall receive. He will provide you the strength and perseverance. All you need to do is ask. John 14:13-14 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it” And why will I do these things? because you Lord deserves all my effort, all my energy and all my time because you sacrificed everything so that I may know you. And also, I will do these things because my life is no longer my own, every breath I breathe is to glorify you. I no longer serve myself, when I gave my life to you. I died to my old self. I no longer serve myself and my own interests, I serve you. I am yours and fully yours. Thank you for your truth. My friends, respectfully it’s not all about us! but do not be discouraged or ashamed, this is where grace comes to play. The reality of life is that we will not walk through the drought season perfectly, and I’m not asking that of you either. I’m just saying walk through it, bring your messy and brokenness and just walk, or crawl. Just surrender and seek him. He will strengthen you and guide you. I hope and pray this encourages you all to embrace both seasons. Our relationship with God is bigger than us! just breathe, let the pressure that you have placed upon yourself fall at the foot of the cross and let his grace rain upon you. You’re not facing any season alone. He will guide you through each one. In your weakness, he is greater. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in my weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong.” God bless you all, Mikayla Ann Kent Freedom in Christ
Freedom is a word that has been dancing around my mind recently, and the topic of freedom in Christ has been very present and heavy on my heart. Before we dive into this blog, I have two things to say. First- As always, every ounce of glory to God. I am simply the messenger. He empowers, inspires & touches hearts. I just write what he leads me to. Second- I do not write this to gain sympathy or attention, I write this because I feel vulnerability takes the power away from Satan. And helps us know we aren’t alone in our struggles, we all have them. Let’s bring them to the light and allow God to bring glory to his name through them. In this past month I’ve taken some time to really reflect and see the work that God has completed in me as I’ve grown over the years, I not only reflected on the past but I took a step back and took a look to see how he is growing and working in me in this very present moment. For years I’ve been entangled in lies, fear, bitterness & doubt. I’ve battled with anxiety, depression, disordered eating & negative self-image. I’ve looked for escape routes from all these burdens. I’ve looked high and low, in every corner and crevasse. I’ve even dared to look to myself to find freedom. But as you may have guessed I ran in circles, and let me tell you it’s quite exhausting and painful. If you talk to anyone that knows me they will agree with me on this. I am a fearful person, I’ve carried an anxious spirit around with me for years. I’ve missed out on many opportunities since I was a little girl simply because I was just scared. Many days I fought with depression from sunrise to sunset, gloom lingering over my eyes. I battled with lies screaming at me telling me I’m unworthy and alone. Sadly, there has been many friendships bruised by me and my own insecurity, because of a wrecked self-image. I’ve been weighted down by shame and guilt hidden deep within because of a reliance and dependence I have for food to meet my emotional needs. Did you just read all of that? does that sound like a young girl living in freedom? a life lived abundantly? I’ll say it with you, it sure doesn’t. I wasn’t meant to carry those things, he didn’t send his son to die for me so that I could continue to walk in darkness. He sent his son so that I may experience life and experience it abundantly! So that I may also experience joy and the sweet sweet taste of freedom. And he did the same for you! In these moments where I felt this weight would never cease, I’d tell myself that maybe I wasn’t trying hard enough or maybe it was just pointless. But though I looked high and low I didn’t look to God. I didn’t seek his guidance or his truth. I looked to myself. Let me just tell you this and save you some time searching for freedom. When we try and look to ourselves for help, it’s like digging from a rusty empty bucket. There’s nothing in us that is able to provide freedom. I’ll say it right now, I’m imperfect, I’m a sinner. I can’t save myself from my own sin and my friend neither can you! But by his merciful grace you and I aren’t left wallowing in hopelessness, he sent his son to die for us. He paid the ultimate sacrifice so that you and I may receive forgiveness and {key word here} walk in glorious FREEDOM from ourselves & our sin. He has made a way, all we have to do is surrender ourselves, our struggles, our temptations, and our burdens to him and let him take the lead. When we seek him, we find freedom in his truth, and from there he enables us to grow. You may say how do I attain this freedom myself? For me I wasn’t able to see these things in myself, I was running in circles for such a long time carrying this weight that I wasn’t able to even recognize it anymore. But thankfully the Lord has provided me friends and family who have spoken truth so gracefully into my life. First - go to God in prayer and say Lord if there’s something in my life that isn’t bringing glory to you please reveal it to me and lead me to your truth. “Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you”. Second talk to someone you trust and who knows you well. And ask them to point out somewhere in your life where you may need some smoothing or trimming. Third meditate on scripture, hang it up around your house, put it wherever you will see it and let his truth and love fill the places where fear, or hurt cut and let his love run deeper. You aren’t meant to carry these burdens, freedom has already been bought! you must to allow it to be active in your life. Lay it at the cross, and allow him to grow you. Break the shackles off your ankles and walk in freedom. I know it can be painful coming face to face with your struggles, but oh the taste of freedom is so sweet, come and share it with me. Now I will share how God has worked in me. Once again ALL glory to him, anything good or honorable in me is all because of him. He’s still growing and working in me. And he will continue that work till I see him face to face. But I’ve tasted freedom, I am not living in constant fear, In the past months I’ve jumped into new opportunity’s instead of shying away. I have joy & hope despite my circumstances, I see him in the midst of every storm. I am starting to see myself the way he’s created me, I’m finding my identity is in him and that my value and worth comes from him and that no person nor anything can take that away from me or diminish it. I’m learning to be fully dependent on him for every need. Lastly, I’m learning that there is no shame or guilt in Jesus Christ. Only grace upon grace. Let his freedom rain upon you, and dance with joy because our God is a good father! Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord and he answered me he has delivered me from all my fears” Please go and listen to this song, freedom is yours my sweet friends. https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/o-come-to-the-altar-acoustic/1296306974?i=1296306985 God bless you, Mikayla Ann Kent No greater love This blog is inspired by one of my most favorite songs. “No greater love” by Rachel Lampa. As I was sitting in my room, shuffling a random playlist this song came on. And as usual ( I’m a cryer ) I cried. But these tears came from a different place, it was like a wave of nostalgia crept over me and the love I felt for the people of Ecuador crashed down upon my soul. And tears just flowed relentlessly, and still the tears continue to flow as I type this. I would listen to this song to and from the medical clinics every single day. Sometimes just to prepare spiritually for the people we were going to meet and serve or simply just because I’ve loved this song for years. A part of the lyrics from the song I will add below. “I never understood how merciful love could be until I felt his flame light every part of me, and I would give everything that I am, cause I have been saved. yes I have been saved!” I felt that undeniable flame looking into the captivating eyes of each person we met, to the beautiful eyes of each mother whose nails I got to paint. To every teary eyed loving hug from one of the precious children. This flame of immeasurable love that only God can fill me with. I was and still am completely overwhelmed by this spectacular love, this powerful flame of passion and pursuit for these people. By the grace of God I no longer look around me and just see everyday people. I see souls, scars and journeys, I see the handprint of God on each of his children some who know him and some who have not yet encountered his perfect love. Speaking of the Ecuadorian people in particular, I see people who have so much less than I materialistically but people who richly overflow in love, compassion and joy. I see people who embrace you as there own. I see mothers and fathers who fight daily battles just to provide for there precious babies. I see sweet children, running around barefoot in the dirt carefree with genuine smiles, and a heart of authentic thankfulness after receiving one simple sticker or a yarn doll. True undeniable captivating beauty. And when I see these people I can’t help but smile & shed a few tears. I don’t share this with you to bring recognition to my name, but to speak of a God who has worked in my life and who can work in yours. I was once numb to those who didn’t know him, numb to the precious gift of grace that I have. I share this with you to glorify my father who has opened my eyes and made me see!! I am awake and aware, I am in awe and in love with people. I see hearts at every corner. And I am filled with this merciful flame, heaven is in my heart as the song says. And this isn’t my doing, he gave me this incredible love for the people of Ecuador and gave me awareness to the people down my street. My goodness doesn’t that just speak of who God is!! I may not have been there to see the historic resurrection. But I have been present to my own. I was once dead. Swallowed up in darkness and sin. But now I am alive, my eyes are opened. My heart is new and beating for the kingdom of God. He is alive and it is undeniable. My sin was big, but thankfully I have a God who is bigger, who sent his son to die for me. And for you. He has changed my life, and is continuing that growth every day. Praise God for that. If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and savior please comment down below and I would be happy to call you or message you. And if not I, reach out to a friend who has given there life to Christ and talk with them. God is good, and he is always working and doing wonders. I’m living proof. This blog has been a little bit different than my past post. I apologize if it was a little bit chaotic and all over the place. But it came straight from my heart, he placed something on my heart to share and well here it is. I hope you enjoyed this post. I pray that it touched your heart in some way. Have a great weekend. I’m going to put two things below, 1. A link to the song “No greater love” 2. Pictures of the beautiful Ecuadorian people who I treasure. I know you will enjoy seeing their precious faces. Sincerely, Mikayla Kent ❤️ https://g.co/kgs/ngqpnC Ecuador 2018 Now sit down, get comfortable this is gonna be a long blog. I have a lot of my heart to share. I am home from Ecuador. My heart is joyful to have had such an incredible opportunity but heavy to have left. It was such a hard goodbye. Let me give you a recap of the last two weeks!! Julia Kramer and I prepared for months, writing out letters to raise support and God provided every need. It was completely clear God wanted us to go on this mission. So the 30th of June arrives, I had no idea what to expect. We didn’t know anyone from our team expect my Aunt Stephanne. We arrive in Atlanta and meet the team, everyone we met was very nice. And we wait for our next flight. It was a 5 hour flight. It wasn’t as bad as the 9hour flight to Bulgaria thank goodness. We arrive at about 10pm, go through security and grab our bags in a rush, and head out to wait for our bus to arrive, it was dark but even then it was beautiful. We had a bus ride of about 45 minutes to the Kinde House ( the hotel we stayed at for the last two weeks) Julia fell asleep but I was wide awake, my eyes frozen staring out the window. As expected right when we arrived to the hotel and got our bags to the third floor, (way toooo many stairs haha) We fell asleep. We awoke to the most beautiful site, taxis driving up and down the steep hill, the sun painting the mountains, vibrant colored buildings, and my most favorite (I’m being sarcastic) the song of the propane truck driving by our window haha. Let me just tell you, the Kinde house spoiled us. The gave us the most delicious meals each morning. From fresh warm bread from the bakery to amazing fruits, eggs and so much more. We never went hungry. The first day we went to the church in Quito called Cemad. My most favorite place. The people at this church are truly precious. Pastor Juan Pablo, his sweet Wife Ms. Guisela and their two kids Josias and Daniella. They are the sweetest family, they love God so passionately and serve him with all their hearts. I wish I could worship with this church every Sunday. When you worship God is present in that room. The spirt of God is overwhelming, it brings you to tears. I felt at home in that church, they welcome you and embrace you as family. Writing about it makes my heart ache with so much love for those precious people. The room is filled with tears, and you hear them crying out to God and it’s so humbling. I feel that sometimes in North America we are reserved with our worship. Even I am guilty of this. But these people aren’t. They worship without boundaries, they cry and lift their hands to the heavens and dance around the room with joy from the their heads to the tips of their toes. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. After that incredible service we ate a meal with some people from the church. It was delicious (as always) after lunch we went and toured around Quito. We saw so many beautiful places, the buildings in Ecuador are beautiful, and so colorful. We saw two beautiful churches and walked through the town. That day we got to know the team a little bit better. That night we prepared for the week, getting the supplies for the medical clinics, eye clinics, pharmacy supplies & children’s ministry supplies put into suitcases. The second day approaches, once again we ate a delicious breakfast ( we were so spoiled!) and headed out early for the first day of work. It was hot, sunny & just simply beautiful. This is the day we met our wonderful translators, who we truly couldn’t have completed the hard work without. I had no idea what the first day and the rest of the week would have in store. We get there and everyone goes to the section they work in to set up for the day. Already people are eagerly waiting to see the doctors from America. I worked in children’s ministry, where we painted nails, or colored in the coloring books. We also played with the bubbles (which the kids LOVED) or parachutes and many more fun things. The first day we got out the goodies and waited for the kids to come over. At first the kids are quiet, shy and curious. But soon as they start coloring or pick the color of the nail polish they open right up. One of the women on the team was named Kara she is so great. Kara is majoring in Spanish so she could communicate with the kids really well. I on the other hand have limited Spanish, but though they don’t understand English they understand the language of love, laughter, giggles and hugs. Each child was precious, It was an honor being able to be the hands and feet of Christ and love on them. One of my favorite things to do was paint some of the mom’s nails. And just love on them that way. One of the highlights of the week for me was meeting the Cabera’s. Ms.Maria and Mr. Jamie. My cousin Julia and I ate lunch with them, I got to pray for them and just spend some time with them. My Grandpa Brad, worked with them while he was a missionary in Ecuador. It was an honor to meet them, come into there home and spend time with them. I’m going to pause for a second and give you some insight on the other work done on the trip- I didn’t work in the medical clinic, pharmacy or eye clinic but I will shed some light on what the week looked like for them. We saw exactly 2,401 people. A huge amount gave their lives to God some didn’t but each encountered the love of Christ. The doctors would see all types of people, some who had parasites, strep, stomach bug, joint aches and pains, diabetes etc. Those doctors and nurses worked so hard. The eye clinic, saw a multitude of people, many who’s eyesight was severely damaged. Some of the patients vision was so damaged they couldn’t provide a strong enough prescription of glasses, but each person who came through the clinic was loved on so well, some came to know Christ and each left with God’s handprint on their heart. The pharmacy people also worked so hard, they would organize the medicines and put the right stuff in each baggie personalized to each patient. They would hand out yarn dolls or stickers and would love the people as they walked out to door. Each person in pharmacy worked so hard, and loved each person so well. Each day was busy from 6am to about 5pm, but every day was rewarding. Every tight hug from one of the kids made it all worth it. Every day was pretty similar. We would arrive by bus to the towns, lines would already be forming with eager people. And the day would begin. Now I’m going to hop back into the children’s ministry. Sebastian was our incredible translator! we couldn’t have completed the week without him. Every day we wanted to share the gospel with the children, in hope they they may give their lives to Jesus and to those younger maybe just plant the seed of curiosity. Sebastian would read out the bible story and prayer multiple times a day when new kids showed up. Sometimes Kara one of the women on the team would read it and pray also. The first week was incredible, the people in children’s ministry ( Kate, Julia, Zach, Dalton, Ms.Lisa, Sebastian, Santiago ( he also translated for us some days! he was awesome!, & zoey are such incredible people. They were the hands and feet of Christ. Whether they were making balloon animals, playing soccer with kids, painting nails, or coloring,or handing out dolls and stickers. In all they did they showed love, I’m honored to have served with them. After each long rewarding day we would go back, and in those moments we would talk to people on our team, some of us would sing and play ukulele together, listen to music, laugh and enjoy each other’s company. Each person on the medical trip was a blessing to me in different ways. Every person was unique, kind, and lovers of Christ. The first week came to a close, we had a fun day. Went to the Equator, and to markets and that was an incredible day. Ecuador is beautiful from the brick roads, to each mountains that overlaps the next, to every colorful home & the gorgeous architecture. But nothing can compare to the beauty of the people, they are clothed in authenticity, kindness & joy. Each women, man & child have a story. They come from different walks of life, they have different smiles, eyes and hair but each a child God came to save. I have so much love in my heart for the people of Ecuador. God has given me a love that runs so far, deep and wide for this country. And Lord willing I plan to return for years to come. On the last night, we said our goodbyes, many many tears were shed saying goodbye to the medical team. God did amazing things the first week, he topped every expectation I had. I’m so thankful for this opportunity. The construction trip. We wake up the next morning to the beautiful song of the propane truck (sarcasm again) we get ready for breakfast, head out and meet two wonderful people from the trip, who were on the third floor with us, their names were Mr.Ken and Caleb. We started talking and getting to know each other before breakfast. As always (we are spoiled at the Kinde house) we had a delicious breakfast and headed for my most favorite place Cemad church. Like I said earlier in the post, the people are precious, it’s a spirit filled church. I feel at home there. My Aunt Stephanne spoke and it was a beautiful service. That day we were all exhausted, especially the new team who flew in late the night before. We we all went back to the hotel and crashed. Later that night Mr.Ken, Caleb, Julia Kramer & I went to Sebastian’s ( the translator from the medical trip, our good friend.) home, we met his precious family, ate and played the ukulele, Sebastian played the gutair and it was one of the highlights of the second week for me. This week was packed full, we woke up, ate breakfast and walked to the church each day, half of the team was working in the bathroom in the main building, while the other half of us were working in another building laying down laminate flooring. Now I wasn’t much help laying down laminate flooring, but I wasn’t to bad at being a coffee runner, or I filled up waters, broke cardboard boxes, handed tools or flooring. It was an honor to help serve in anyway I could. The moments where Julia Kramer and I couldn’t help out much we would run off and play with two of the most precious kids from the church. Named Jesus and Sofia. We would run around and play, chase them, and just have fun with them. Many hugs were involved. It was a blast each day. The people at Cemad are a delight so it was an honor to serve them. Each night we went out for dinner, spent some time with pastor Juan Pablo’s family and enjoyed each others company. Each day looked about the same, but as the first week each day was rewarding. On Friday after finishing up work, we got together with some people from the church. Pastor Juan Pablo and his wife shared some words and prayed for us so passionately. I cried very hard! we ate a delicious empanada’s, amazing cake and drank coffee. They gave each of us a beautiful gift, for the women it was a beautiful purse & the men received a hat! The night came to a close & we had to say our goodbyes to some of the people from the church. It was so hard to say goodbye to our new friends who truly became family from the church. It was especially hard to say goodbye to sweet little Sofia. She is precious to Julia and I. The week came to a close and we had a fun day, we went to an Indian market, to a lake, and to a waterfall. All were beautiful. It was a wonderful day enjoying the beauty of Ecuador and the company of each other. That night we headed to the airport, had a long flight and arrived in Atlanta. Julia Kramer and I only got to say goodbye to some of the people from the team, which was sad. Each person on construction were also a delight and it was an honor serving with them! I will miss every person from each team. We arrive in Michigan after a short flight from Atlanta, fall in our beds and sleep Sunday away. It is now Monday, I’ve unpacked. I dreaded every minute of unpacking. I even miss the song from the propane truck ahaha. I miss all of Ecuador. I truly wish I was there right now. But this trip was incredible, God taught me so much every day I was there. He loved on me through people on both teams, people from the church & my beautiful Aunt Stephanne. He revealed to me ways I need to grow and increased my love for him and my love for Ecuador each day. I can’t wait for my next hello to Ecuador. If you took the time to read this, my goodness bless your heart it was a long post!! Thank you for reading, and to those who prayed for Julia Kramer and I, who supported us finically & prayerfully thank you for your willingness for God to use you to help us fulfill what he called us to do. Your support means the world. Don’t forget to check out the slideshow at the bottom, we got some great pictures. Ecuador I love you. Mikayla Kent Hello all,
I decided it was time for me to sit down and write a blog. This week my family and I are down in South Carolina, seeing family and just soaking in some relaxation. My Grandma Kay and Grandpa Brad live just a short drive away from the beach, so we have been spending some time by the ocean. I walk out, look up at the beautiful blue sky, I listen to the song of the crashing waves that so gracefully sweep over every fear and worry dragging them back out into the deep blue, leaving me light and free. I continue to walk up and down the shore reflecting and thinking, just soaking in the beauty and the sunshine. I’ve been replaying the seasons I have walked through since first being diagnosed with connective tissue disease. I would say the first wave that hit me was shock. I was not quite prepared for the toll it would have upon my body. I’ve had physical challenges before such as my jaw misalignment and no doubt that has been a day to day burdening pain. But I was not prepared for my new “normal”. The second wave I would say is grief. I felt like I’ve been tossed out to sea, continually being overcome by each monstrous wave, waves of chronic fatigue and pain, to the powerful waves of depression and loneliness and crippling isolation. I walked through that season of grief for quite some time and I came face to face with my new limitations and new realities. I’ve had my schooling set back because of my obvious health issue, meaning I will be repeating the 9th grade. I’ve had to carry around new burdens with each day to day task. All of those things have been hard adjustments. But the most recent wave is the wave of acceptance. I’ve gone through shock; I’ve grieved and grieved hard. But now the loud roar of the oceans is coming to a hush, I can see the glorious blue peak through the gloomy painted skies, and feel the sun kiss my cheek once more. My Savior lifts me out of the waters and breathes life back into me once again. My circumstances are tough but God has provided me strength, even when my praise came out only in soft whispers, my body lifeless, my prayers stale; he still swept me up into his loving arms and delivered to me his overwhelming peace and love. He would engrave into my heart his words, from Isaiah 43:2- “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” Another verse that has encouraged me is Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” What I get from those two verses is that every trial that we come head to head with, He has allowed to pass through His throne first, and He says He does all things for our good and for His glory so He will take care of us and provide us with what we need. Also, I can have peace knowing He has a plan, even if this isn’t at all what I would envision or plan for myself. He has already written my story from beginning to end, and He will bring it to completion. Yes, He will let me bend, but He won’t let me break. And as He has so faithfully in the past, He will continue to use every tear and every pain for His glory. I am thankful that through these pains He has revealed more of himself to me, more of His character. My relationship with Him has not weakened, but grown and matured and strengthened, though the storms knocked me off my feet and spun me around, He has remained the same His love never fails. Let me share how I’ve gotten to this point of acceptance. But know that it’s none of my own doing, He in His loving mercy has carried me to this place. I prayed earnestly for Him to help for me to trust Him and His plans. To trust that He is who He says He is, that His promises are true. I also had to and still continue to daily surrender my desire for healing, which in no way is easy at all. Understanding that healing doesn’t always come, and that doesn’t mean I’m forgotten, or lacking in faith. It just means He has other marvelous plans. I just have to be still, and wait. And when I see the mountain before me I do not need to fear nor despair because the one who stands beside me is He who makes the mountains bow in reverence. For anyone else struggling, whether it is chronic illness, or any other pain or loss in life, there aresome things that have been an extra push for me, such as playing some passages from Psalm aloud every night, particularly ones that focus on suffering. I will listen to worship music and sermons also focused on the particular relating issue. Prayer, prayer is powerful. And when I say pray I mean real genuine, messy prayer. Open your heart to Him, cry out to Him, tell Him of your pains and fears; ask for strength and for peace. He wants you to talk with Him and open your heart to Him. He can take it. Just fall into His loving embrace, let Him cradle you as you pour out your soul. Lastly, read books that focus on the particular subject you are struggling in. For me it was a book “The scars that have shaped me” by Vaneetha Risner. Just take it wave by wave, each season will pass. I promise the sun will kiss your cheek once again. I pray that all who read this blog will be encouraged greatly. - Mikayla A. Kent |
AuthorI'm just a 17 year old girl, who has a passion for Jesus and longs to encourage and connect with other people through the shifting seasons of life, and the lessons learned through them. Archives
July 2023
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