This is very hard for me to share. I’ve battled for a while with putting this blog post together…and then deleting it. It’s been a vicious cycle. But I know I must surrender this to the Lord. For the victory is His. My story is no longer my own. And I know the Lord will use it for His glory as He sees fit.
I think you and I both can agree at one time or another we have placed our identity, worth, and value in something imperfect and unreliable. We have laid these things down upon an unsteady foundation. And that’s a dangerous thing. I have carried insecurity, comparison and jealously around with me like an accessory. They have followed me for years, leaving their print on my relationships. And frankly it has been ugly. From a very young age competition stirred in my heart. I have two sisters, one who is younger than me, and one who is older than me. With my oldest sister, we shared many things from hobbies to friends to music to favorite movies. For my part, I felt this need to be better…that I had to be better to be worthy. In our friendships, for example, if a friend was to compliment her or invite her to do something, I then assumed that meant I was unimportant and grew bitter. And that was my thought process for many years. Then came the bullying and things got worse. Already having a wrecked identity, the words of my bullies took an even heavier toll on my heart. They would say nasty cruel things to me such as “you’re ugly & worthless, to “your better off dead”. I believed those lies and carried them around with me for years. And that was a bad beating to my already wrecked self-image. So, let’s review, at this point I still don’t know where my identity is truly found, I’m filled with lies, jealously and comparison. These things are boiling inside of me, and naturally it took a toll in my friendships. A lot of my friendships were very unhealthy. I relied on my friends to give me worth and make me feel loved and wanted. If they didn’t appreciate something I did I once again considered myself "nothing.” If they didn’t seem to show any sympathy for my problems than I was unimportant to them and therefore worthless. If they didn’t lift me up with encouraging words than I was left feeling empty and low. This was a never-ending pattern, I would sometimes see a need for a change but didn’t know where to turn. And frankly I was so used to this way of living and thinking, it was comfortable for me. It was not until this summer, that I was truly awakened the destruction that my ship-wrecked identity had caused. As some of you know I had the incredible opportunity of joining my Aunt Stephanne as she lead her church to the country of Ecuador. On this trip, I learned many things and took away many lessons I continue to incorporate into my day to day life. But the biggest blessing I walked away with was the taste of freedom. One day on the trip my precious Aunt Stephanne pulled me away to have a conversation. A few weeks earlier God laid on her heart to discuss this with me but she was waiting for the perfect opportunity, such as the opportunity where I was in another country and couldn’t run away from her and what she had to say. I laughed so hard when she told me that. She gracefully shared truth and encouragement with me by reminding me of who I am as a daughter of Jesus. And it was eye opening. It was such an incredible moment shared with someone so special to me. For the first time, my heart was broken and sickened by the pattern I was living in. I was completely awakened to my sin. I was aware of how I was disrespecting myself and my God. And from that day on, I have pursued his truth, I have sought to find out who I am in Christ. And it gives me chills to think of the freedom that has been active my life since that day. Since I’ve started seeking his truth, I’ve started to find where my true identity is found. And there I found my sweet Jesus, and I’ve seen new pieces of him. I’ve seen new layers of His character, and how He loves me. I’ve seen the kind of savior He is. And I’m truly in awe. The relationships with my friends and family are so much healthier because I’m starting to learn how to depend on God to fill my cup, to meet my desires, and to give me worth. I’m able to recognize Gods fingerprints on who I am. I’m seeing the details and the handiwork of who He has created me to be and all the little pieces that make me Mikayla Ann Kent. I’m also able to recognize His fingerprints on others’ lives and I’m finally able to rejoice with them in their successes and talents. I’m able to encourage them to see themselves through the eyes of their creator. And if that doesn’t just speak of how powerful our God is I don’t know what will! I urge you to evaluate your life, where is your identity found? Moms and dads this isn’t just for teenagers. you may have an Identity crisis you need to check. And that’s okay! even though you’re older and more experienced in life, you don’t have to be ashamed. It is so easy to place our worth and identity into day to day things. Maybe you still don’t know where your worth and identity is truly found! I encourage you to be willing to humble yourself and seek His truth. It’s human nature to desire to be seen, wanted and loved. But my friends we are already seen, wanted and loved. Stop looking high or low, to left or to the right. Look into the captivating eyes of Jesus. Seek His truth, find out who He says you are! Oh the precious freedom that comes from seeking Him and His truth. I can honestly say I’m so joyful knowing who I am. It’s still a process, it is painful coming face to face with something that you hid and carried with you for so long. But we have to realize as followers of Christ it is vital to know where our identity and worth is found! we also have to realize we already have the freedom and victory, we have to choose daily to live that out. We have to choose daily to seek His truth How do I find my identity in him? well first I’d encourage you to confess to him the destructive pattern you have been living in. Ask him to reveal his truth to you. Just pray and ask for healing from past wounds, though the afflictions of others may have cut deep; his love runs deeper. Secondly I’d encourage you to get out a an empty notebook, and devote those pages to copy down verses specially focused on our identity, worth, value in Jesus. Lastly, talk to someone you trust and tell them about this struggle you have been battling with. I’m almost positive that they have struggled with it too! pray for one another and keep each other accountable to deny the lies Satan whispers in our ears. What I will always incorporate into my blogs is the essence of grace!! Let us not be ashamed, but rejoice knowing that our God has paid the ultimate price for our sins, and because of that priceless sacrifice we can claim victory and freedom! And we can then know our identity and value. Below are some verses filled with truth and encouragement. I urge you to get out a notebook and write these down and memorize them! where those lies once reigned let his truth take place! Psalm 139:1-17 “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” 1st peter 2:9 “But you’re a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, Gods special possession. That you may declare the praises or him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light”. Matthew 10:29-31 “are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your father. But the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Therefore, do not fear for you are more valuable than many sparrows” I pray that this blog encourages others to take a step back, evaluate their lives and ask themselves “where is my worth & identity found?” All glory to God, for this victory is His. Thank you, Jesus, you have set me free!! God bless you all, Mikayla Ann Kent.
3 Comments
Linda Clark
9/8/2018 05:16:20 am
Mikayla.... You are wise beyond your years! This is beautifully written and applies to everyone of us! Thank you for sharing... God bless YOU! Linda Clark
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Chris Bauslaugh
9/8/2018 07:01:24 am
I totally agree with Linda Clark. God has something special for you, I will be excited to see how God leads and directs you. I encourage you to keep blogging, you are an incredible writer. Blessings and hugs
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Savannah
9/8/2018 03:37:17 pm
Thank you for this, I’ve recently been very down on myself and my appearance saying a guy will never love me bc of my looks, I’ll never go far because of my weight, I’m the ugly friend and a lot more that has like you been within me from past bullying. Thank you for helping me see myself in the creators eyes and not the worlds❤️❤️❤️
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AuthorI'm just a 17 year old girl, who has a passion for Jesus and longs to encourage and connect with other people through the shifting seasons of life, and the lessons learned through them. Archives
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