The ocean has always been my favorite place to run away and find compete relaxation and rest. I deeply long for those precious moments where my feet dance through the warm sand and I fall into the rhythm of the crashing waves upon the shore. In these precious moments I’m fully at peace with utter contentment. Thankfully this past week I’ve had the blessing to spend a week in Florida at the beach with my grandparents and do just that. I’ve made many fun memories and spent many moments soaking in the beauty around me and I’m so grateful for it. I’ll be honest…this past year has been a difficult one! It has been a year that has tested and challenged my faith to its core. It’s been a year where walls upon walls of church hurt came crashing down upon me leading to a season of deconstruction within my faith. But even in my wandering and hopelessness, God has remained steady and faithful. Over the last few months I’ve felt a continuous tugging upon my heart, I’ve heard his still and merciful voice call me back to his perfect presence. I’ve felt him encourage me to fall into his warm embrace and to trust him fully for who he his…not for who people have failed to portray. One of the biggest blocks in my faith this past year has been my perfectionism, if I can’t do it perfectly I have no interest in doing it at all. This pattern in my life limits me in endless ways but most importantly it has limited my relationship and trust in Jesus. Truthfully…I’m scared to try new things or step into the roles God has placed before me due to my painful feelings of inadequacy and relentless insecurity. It’s my deepest desire to be good enough, I want to please people and for them to love me. But seeing as I’m human I continually fail day to day. Through this week of resting I believe God has been teaching me that he hasn’t called me to a life of perfection like I’ve so foolishly believed before, nor has he called me to “be good enough” rather he continually calls me to walk faithfully and to trust and allow him to fill in the empty spaces with his sufficient grace. The ocean always draws out a new perspective within me. The power and the vastness of it reminds me of God and his incomparable power and love for me. I’m so thankful for moments like this that whispers reminders of who God is and his faithfulness to me. Lastly, I’m so thankful for the door he’s opened with my new job as an after school counselor! I begin next week and I pray God would break down the layers of insecurity and build in my heart a spirit of confidence and humility. I know he’s opened this door so he will be faithful to fill in my empty spaces with his sufficient grace.
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AuthorI'm just a 17 year old girl, who has a passion for Jesus and longs to encourage and connect with other people through the shifting seasons of life, and the lessons learned through them. Archives
July 2023
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