Hello all, in my past few blogs I’ve shared with you the “what if’s & “why’s” that have plagued my life. There are seasons of life where questions and doubt are the only form of communication that we share with God, yet their are also sweet seasons of time where we finally see the connection between those plaguing “why’s” and Gods plan.
I am going to be honest, this past school semester I was so terrified walking into a new school due to the current situation of my unreliable disease. From my obstructed view I saw a body and a mind that was unable to function and complete all the lofty expectations that the school system has for an average student. And throughout this semester I have asked so many questions with an underlying tone of impatient anger that was present behind the words I would whisper out to God in moments of doubt. Some of these frustrating remarks are - “why would you put me in this school if I am just going to fail” — “why do you have me here” and most of all “why did I have to be held back so many semesters, which now leads me down a life path that is so much slower than the rest of my friends.” Each of those questions have been thrown God's way. I believe that in those moments I was depending on my own limited sight. I was basing my frustrations off of the small piece of understanding that I had a tight grasp on. And In those moments where I would get frustrated and impatient with God, his peaceful and assuring voice would bring me back to a stillness in him. God continually would remind me of his truths in my life. He reminded me that his timing is far more perfect than mine. He also reminded me that his plans for my life are far better than I could imagine for myself. Lastly, He reminded me of his faithfulness time and time again, even in the presence of hundreds of questions. God doesn’t expect you or me to have it all together nor does he expect us to have all the answers regarding his plan for our lives or even simply the plans of a school semester. He asks you and me to be still, and to be patient in his perfect timing; knowing that He is who he says He is meaning that the plans for our life are perfect and good. God doesn’t want me to depend on and find security in my flighty emotions or my slim fragment of understanding, he wants me to fully rely on him, to fully rely on my faith in who He is and to walk into the unknown with my handful of questions, even when I don’t understand. This semester God has shown himself faithful once again, even through the midst of unreliable health he gave me the strength and the resources I needed to do what he had called me to. He called me to this new school, and He met me with his faithfulness and I just completed my first semester! I am so so thrilled. It was not an easy semester, it stretched me and exhausted me but God met me with his strength, his peace and his sweet faithfulness. Friends do not be discouraged if you are in the moment of boundless questions and confusion, I was there just weeks ago. There is nothing shameful about not understanding, but surrender that hungry desire to understand. We simply cannot comprehend all that God has for us. He calls us to be still, and wait patiently. Honestly “waiting” and “being still” is a lot harder to do than it seems. I understand! I am not sharing this testimony to lift myself up and display a disposition of “having it all together & “having all the answers” quite the contrary actually, I had no fragment of an idea of how God would work this semester, I am right there with you. Don’t let your view hindered by flighty emotions limit God, and do not let your understanding of your own mere human strength limit the work that God can complete through you! All glory goes to God, it is he who enabled me to complete this first semester and it is also him who taught me and walked me through his faithfulness in order for me to come to this understanding! My friend just be faithful to where he has called to you right now, be obedient by taking every little step that contains plenty of unknowns and surrender that eagerness to understand the reason behind this path and walk with him, having complete assurance and confidence in the character of your God alone. If you read this blog in its entirety, thank you. I hope that this testimony encouraged you and reminded you that God is faithful, he is aware of every step of faith you are taking right now. I hope that you can also join me in surrendering that craving of understanding the complexity of God’s plans and run into the waves of unknown with confidence in God's character. Once again all glory to God! God bless you, 💗 Mikayla Kent Below are some verses that remind me of God's faithfulness to me and his plan for my. Also I am adding a link to a song that has been very encouraging to me recently. (: Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your way acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Lnk to the song- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5oLZeSnf3c
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Hello all, in my latest blog I talked about all the “what if’s” I had been battling with. My “what if’s” consisted of doubts and fears concerning my chronic illness and all the layers that are entangled into that large piece of my life. As I’ve been on a journey of releasing and surrendering my “what if’s” a new struggle arose. I am embarking on a journey to release my both my “what ifs” and “why’s”. Both the “what’s it’s” and “why’s” fall under my continuous fight with trusting God fully. I’m battling with trusting that his plans for my life are better than my deepest desires. I’m battling with trusting that he is good, and that he is a God of integrity and that his promises are true. I’m struggling with trusting that he is a good God. He has always been faithful to me, but my chronic illness has driven me to painful places, and in those painful unknowns questions and doubts burned deep within my soul in agony screaming “why!”
Why O God will you not heal me? Why O God can I not see any silver lining or purpose on this path that you have called me to walk. Why O God does your voice feel so distant yet my doubts can be heard from a mile away? I have to stop myself in that painful chaos, and grasp onto his truth. I recognize that though it’s hard to see God in the midst of continuous suffering, in the midst of sorrows and doubt. He is near to the brokenhearted. I have to remember he is still a God of the sick. I have to remember that He is still the same God in the dark as He is in the light. It’s difficult to see his handiwork in your life and to comprehend all that is taking place when it seems as though the light has been stolen. I know It can be so difficult to surrender the “why’s?” & replace it with “I trust you”. But He is a good God, a God of integrity. His promises to me and you are true. His love for me and you is enduring, and his plans for me and you are intently designed for our good. I must continue to deny the “why’s” and learn to lay it all down. It’s a continuous surrender, a lifelong journey. He holds every tear in the palms of his nail scarred hands, he strengthens my weak body and renews my soul steadfastly. Amidst my never ending doubts, questions, and fears...his faithfulness to me is never ending, and he relentlessly continues to meet me in the most unexpected ways. Each day I have to consciously choose to remember his character and his promises, I have to seek to hold on tightly to his truth as I walk through the fire. Each day I have to go back to scripture and read his word and slowly allow him to grave it upon my heart. I’m reminded of the verse… Psalm 13:5 “But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.” I’m also reminded of Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all of creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Both of those verses speak volumes of God faithfulness and reminds us that nothing nor anyone can rip us away from the love and faithfulness of God. My friends, if you also have painful “why’s?” that are plaguing you life, I hope you will embark on this journey with me. Those “why’s” are painful, they are rooted from a situation in your life that you are battling with understanding. Trust me I know your pain, I understand your doubt. BUT... I also know our God, I know that in the midst of emotion we can easily get caught and swept up in that storm. But our feet must land back on the ground, and we have to surrender those “why’s” and walk into that unknown with faith rooted in Christ alone. God is aware of your unknown, he will walk alongside you and guide you through. My blog will always carry a theme of grace. Life is painful, and our fragile hearts easily get tangled into those “why’s” but give yourself grace. Walk into that unknown with grace upon your shoulders knowing that God is with you until the end of the ages and he can carry your doubt, he welcomes it. He wants you to deal with that doubt, lay it down and walk forward in trust. Below I will list a few more verses that you can possibly write down on a notecard to help you as you also walk into that unknown. Seek to know God and all his fullness, when we are aware of whom we are walking with...fear has no room to speak. Thank you for taking time to read this blog in its very long entirety haha, God bless each and every one of you. I pray that 2019 would be a year of trusting God fully. It is a lifelong journey… Thank you Jesus, for when I am continually faithless you are faithful. God bless you all, Mikayla Kent P.S don’t forget the verses below (: Also check out the song “Prince of Peace” by Hillsong on the album “Empires” here is the link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIqUTMHl9Cs&list=PLTIAmp7RSIV-tTo7Kg1zco6OJLrj8sMQi Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight”. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”. Isaiah 40:28-31 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles and they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” |
AuthorI'm just a 17 year old girl, who has a passion for Jesus and longs to encourage and connect with other people through the shifting seasons of life, and the lessons learned through them. Archives
July 2023
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