Hello all, in my latest blog I talked about all the “what if’s” I had been battling with. My “what if’s” consisted of doubts and fears concerning my chronic illness and all the layers that are entangled into that large piece of my life. As I’ve been on a journey of releasing and surrendering my “what if’s” a new struggle arose. I am embarking on a journey to release my both my “what ifs” and “why’s”. Both the “what’s it’s” and “why’s” fall under my continuous fight with trusting God fully. I’m battling with trusting that his plans for my life are better than my deepest desires. I’m battling with trusting that he is good, and that he is a God of integrity and that his promises are true. I’m struggling with trusting that he is a good God. He has always been faithful to me, but my chronic illness has driven me to painful places, and in those painful unknowns questions and doubts burned deep within my soul in agony screaming “why!”
Why O God will you not heal me? Why O God can I not see any silver lining or purpose on this path that you have called me to walk. Why O God does your voice feel so distant yet my doubts can be heard from a mile away? I have to stop myself in that painful chaos, and grasp onto his truth. I recognize that though it’s hard to see God in the midst of continuous suffering, in the midst of sorrows and doubt. He is near to the brokenhearted. I have to remember he is still a God of the sick. I have to remember that He is still the same God in the dark as He is in the light. It’s difficult to see his handiwork in your life and to comprehend all that is taking place when it seems as though the light has been stolen. I know It can be so difficult to surrender the “why’s?” & replace it with “I trust you”. But He is a good God, a God of integrity. His promises to me and you are true. His love for me and you is enduring, and his plans for me and you are intently designed for our good. I must continue to deny the “why’s” and learn to lay it all down. It’s a continuous surrender, a lifelong journey. He holds every tear in the palms of his nail scarred hands, he strengthens my weak body and renews my soul steadfastly. Amidst my never ending doubts, questions, and fears...his faithfulness to me is never ending, and he relentlessly continues to meet me in the most unexpected ways. Each day I have to consciously choose to remember his character and his promises, I have to seek to hold on tightly to his truth as I walk through the fire. Each day I have to go back to scripture and read his word and slowly allow him to grave it upon my heart. I’m reminded of the verse… Psalm 13:5 “But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.” I’m also reminded of Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all of creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Both of those verses speak volumes of God faithfulness and reminds us that nothing nor anyone can rip us away from the love and faithfulness of God. My friends, if you also have painful “why’s?” that are plaguing you life, I hope you will embark on this journey with me. Those “why’s” are painful, they are rooted from a situation in your life that you are battling with understanding. Trust me I know your pain, I understand your doubt. BUT... I also know our God, I know that in the midst of emotion we can easily get caught and swept up in that storm. But our feet must land back on the ground, and we have to surrender those “why’s” and walk into that unknown with faith rooted in Christ alone. God is aware of your unknown, he will walk alongside you and guide you through. My blog will always carry a theme of grace. Life is painful, and our fragile hearts easily get tangled into those “why’s” but give yourself grace. Walk into that unknown with grace upon your shoulders knowing that God is with you until the end of the ages and he can carry your doubt, he welcomes it. He wants you to deal with that doubt, lay it down and walk forward in trust. Below I will list a few more verses that you can possibly write down on a notecard to help you as you also walk into that unknown. Seek to know God and all his fullness, when we are aware of whom we are walking with...fear has no room to speak. Thank you for taking time to read this blog in its very long entirety haha, God bless each and every one of you. I pray that 2019 would be a year of trusting God fully. It is a lifelong journey… Thank you Jesus, for when I am continually faithless you are faithful. God bless you all, Mikayla Kent P.S don’t forget the verses below (: Also check out the song “Prince of Peace” by Hillsong on the album “Empires” here is the link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIqUTMHl9Cs&list=PLTIAmp7RSIV-tTo7Kg1zco6OJLrj8sMQi Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight”. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”. Isaiah 40:28-31 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles and they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
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AuthorI'm just a 17 year old girl, who has a passion for Jesus and longs to encourage and connect with other people through the shifting seasons of life, and the lessons learned through them. Archives
July 2023
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